3 Wee Tips

Stay calm and unflappable. Take one deep, slow breath out.

Acknowledge your child's big feeling — for example, "I can see you feel frustrated."

Gently steer your child towards a calm activity — for example, "Try playing with your lego to see if that helps you feel calm again."

Introduce 3 simple family rules and stick them on the fridge — for example: Kind hands; No hurting; Helping and sharing.

Stay calm and give a warning. For example, "If you continue to have a tantrum, we will need to leave the park / stop the activity." If behaviour persists, always stick to what you have said and steer your child toward a more calming activity, to help teach them a way to calm down.

Try to pre-empt and help your child by steering them toward a calming activity (reading, building, music) or a physical activity — for example, jumping on the trampoline or dribbling a football.

Keep bedtime routines calm, predictable and consistent. Try a sleep chart — ⭐ Open & print the Bedtime Chart ›

Always give a five-minute warning ahead of the wind-down routine.

Use calm wind-down activities — dim lights, stories, colouring. Tell your child "Settle to sleep now and I will check you" — and always check in on them so they feel secure.

Use visual boards to show your child what is happening and when.

Talk with your child about what you will both be doing during the time you are apart.

Encourage your child to take small, brave steps and praise every effort — however small.

Use colourful bowls and place very small portions of food into each one. ⭐ Open & print the Trying New Foods Chart ›

Involve your child in shopping and choosing new foods — and in baking or preparing meals, allowing them to have messy hands and taste as they go.

Introduce a tiny amount of a new food on the plate just to try. Encourage them to see if they like it, and praise your child simply for trying — whatever the result.

Work out regular time slots and encourage your child to get into the habit of going to the toilet. Gently steer them to the bathroom "to try" — no big deal if they don't actually go.

Help your child feel safe and secure — a little stool for their feet helps keep them balanced. Keep a small basket with favourite books nearby; you can read together while they relax.

Give plenty of praise — "Well done!" "Great job!" Then talk naturally about the activity they are returning to. 🚽 Open & print the Toilet Chart ›

Point to the light that shows how you feel — use the Feelings Traffic Light to help your child name and show their feeling. Print it out and pop it somewhere handy at home.

🚦 Open & print the Feelings Chart ›

Say to your child: "Let me catch that big tricky feeling in my net and help keep it safe" — then stretch your arms wide to show your imaginary net and say "Got it!" This usually grabs your child's attention and gives the feeling a name.

Steer your child to a calming activity: "Let's do some colouring / Lego / reading together." Then gently ask: "Well done — is this helping you to feel warm and cosy inside? You can point to the green light on the chart."

Introduce a reward chart or collect rewards in a big jar, tin, or box. ⭐ Open & print a Reward Chart › 🌟 Open & print Collectable Rewards ›

Praise your child for all the "little" wins. For example, "That was lovely playing"; "I really enjoyed hearing that / spending time with you"; "Thank you for all your help with the gardening / table / tidying toys."

Make sure to tell all the adults who visit about all the great things your child has been doing and trying.

Break tasks into small, achievable steps — draw a rectangle and divide it into small chunks of time (e.g. 20 minutes) and colour code them. Set a timer to remind your child to stop and have a fun short break at the end of each chunk. Praise your child's efforts.

Remind your child to come to you if they find something difficult to understand, and always reassure them that everyone finds things challenging at times.

Encourage them to have a go and reassure them that with practice they will find a way to make it feel easier.

Help your child to feel an important and valued family member — this builds their confidence and reminds them how special they are. Give praise generously and often: "That was very kind sharing"; "Thank you for helping me tidy the toys"; "That was very clever."

Ask the teacher to help your child with joining in at playtimes and with paired working with other children in the class. Remember — all the children in the class will feel shy and upset at times and need some help.

Give your child ideas of what to say and how to join in with play. Arrange playdates, and always praise and encourage every effort, however small.

Help your child by encouraging them to have a go, suggest small achievable targets and allow them to build confidence gradually.

Model a "have a go" attitude yourself.

Always praise and reward efforts, however small.